He goes before me...

Kyle and I talked about the adoption quite a bit yesterday. We discussed the very next step of the process and things that won't take place for quite some time...like traveling to Ethiopia.

Much later while I was getting ready for bed, I was still thinking about traveling to the country where we'll find our daughter. As they so often do, the wheels in my brain started spinning and I got a little ahead of myself. I got stuck on one particular thought...

What if both of us can't make the second trip for some reason?

Kyle might not be able to take the time from work. We may decide it's better for one of us to stay home with the kiddos. We may not have the funds to purchase two plane tickets. These are very real possibilities. So I started to worry and wonder...If not Kyle, who will go with me?

As soon as I asked the question, the name of a certain friend came to mind. I knew she would be the perfect companion for such a trip, but would she be willing? would she be able? Again, I worried.

Today at church as we prepared for the service, that precious friend of mine approached me and said, "If Kyle can't go with you to Ethiopia, I'll go with you." Her offer was totally unsolicited. No one knew my thoughts from the night before. No one...except for God.

I was emotional as we started praise and worship...totally amazed at how God knew my heart, heard my questions and answered them as only He can. I couldn't control my tears as we sang these verses...

You go before me

You shield my way

Your hand upholds me

I know You love me

How true! As a believer in Jesus Christ, there is no place God will send me that He has not already been. He shields me and protects me. He loves me. My friend's offer and the words of the song were such confirmation of God's will for my family, of His protection and provision, of His love.

For I am the Lord, your God,

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you.

Isaiah 41:13

So long summer...you were good to us!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Oh, yes!

Last week, my sweet friend Karen and I discussed Ephesians 3:20-21...my favorite scripture in all God's Word. She mentioned that she loves the way it is translated in The Message, which is the Bible in contemporary language. I remembered our conversation this morning and looked it up. Here it is...

God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

Glory to God in the church!

Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus!

Glory down all the generations!

Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!

As I read the end of the passage, I pictured an imprisoned Paul pumping his fist in the air and exclaiming, "Oh, yes!". The thought of God and all that He is able to do got Paul fired up, excited! You can see it...you can feel it in the text.

So I thought about times when I have so easily expressed enthusiasm...

Joshua got a big hit at his baseball game...Oh, yes!

The kids are in bed early...Oh, yes!

Hubby got a raise...Oh, yes!

We've got a babysitter! It's date night...Oh, yes!

Baby girl's wearing big girl panties...Oh, yes!

And I thought about the times that I haven't...like during praise and worship so many Sunday mornings. Often I find myself so moved by the Spirit, touched by the worship that I want to stand and lift my hands or even fall to my knees. But I hold back...stand still, hands clasped in front of me, with all my enthusiasm for the Lord bottled up inside.

So why is it so easy to jump from my seat when I see my son round third base, but so hard to express the joy, enthusiasm, passion I feel for the Lord? After all this verse tells us that our God is able. He can do immeasurably more, exceeding abundantly, far more than our wildest dreams! Isn't He most worthy of my "Oh, yes!" moments?

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for my friend Karen who loves your Word. Thank you for allowing me to live in a country where I am able to read, talk about and blog about you. And thank you for speaking to me so clearly, so loudly through two little words. Lord, forgive me for keeping my excitement for you bottled up inside. Help me lift my hands, jump for joy, clap, sing, whoop and holler for YOU!

In Jesus precious name I pray...Oh, yes!!!

Wish you were here...

Dear Sweet Child,

We went to the beach...your brothers and sister and Daddy and I. We buried ourselves in the sand. We jumped the waves and splashed in the pool. We fed alligators after dinner, hunted crabs by moonlight and shopped for shark-tooth necklaces. We stayed up way past bedtime and woke up to the sounds of the ocean each morning.

We cuddled and hugged and laughed and loved. We thought of you, talked about you and dreamed of you as we wrote your name in the sand.

You were not there with us this time, but you will be soon. I can't wait to watch you build castles in the sand...to hear you giggle as the salty water rushes past your feet...to see the sun shine on your precious face. What fun we'll have!

You are not here in my arms, but my heart is full of you...overwhelmed with love for you. I pray that even now...even a world away...you know that.

Hugs and kisses,

Mommy

...I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day. As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy. 2 Timothy 1:3-4

Provision...

When Kyle and I decided to answer God's call to adopt, we first said to each other and to the Lord, "Okay. We'll do this...just as soon as we get a few things in order." In other words, "We'll obey your command, but we're going to do it on our terms...when we're comfortable. Give us about six months, Lord." Due to the overwhelming cost of adoption, we wanted to pay off some debt, build up our savings and prepare ourselves financially. Those things seemed logical, but others (like having just one more weekend getaway without the kiddos) were just plain selfish.

God's denial of our terms was swift and clear. During my quiet time one morning, I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and my Faithful, Abundant, True bible study workbook. The day's lesson? That delayed or partial obedience is disobedience! I felt such conviction as I studied God's word. God expects us to obey Him the first time He asks. If we decide the "what", "when" or "how" of our obedience, we haven't really obeyed Him at all. In John 14:23, Jesus says "If anyone loves me, He will keep my word..." and 1 John 5:3 tells us "This is the love of God, that we keep his commandments." So I had to ask myself...Do I love God enough to obey Him, no matter what He asks of me?...whether or not I have all the answers?...whether or not I am comfortable?

Kyle and I knew that we could not delay...the time to obey was NOW. We said "yes" on God's terms and trusted Him to provide. The boys and I rolled quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies from a coin jar that sits on the counter in our laundry room. We bagged up magazines and books from shelves throughout the house and sold them at Half Price Books. I returned an outfit that I thought I had to have, but didn't need. The money added up and we scraped together enough money for the adoption agency's application fee.

Once the application was submitted...we waited and we prayed. Heavenly Father, please let our application be approved. And once that happens, Lord, please provide $1500 so that we can move forward with the next step of the adoption process. I prayed and prayed for $1500, the first portion of our agency fee.

Then on August 2nd, God answered our prayers and took my breath away. He provided as only He can! At 4:00 we received official notification from America World that our application had been approved! The good news came via email and the time stamp was exactly 4:00PM. At the very same time, Kyle and I were sitting in a conference room at a title company, closing on a refinance of our home mortgage. While the title officer was reviewing the terms of our loan, he informed us that our first payment would not be due until October which meant that we would be skipping two months of mortgage payments. Plus, there would be a small refund of our closing costs. We expected to skip one month, but the second month and the refund were a total surprise!! And there it was...God's perfect provision-the green light from the adoption agency and the funds to get the process started.

I am so in awe of Him and humbled by Him! God doesn't need our timeline or our money or our plans. He is able to do immeasurably more than we can even imagine (Ephesians 3:20)! I believe that He wants our hearts. He wants us to love Him enough to submit to Him and let Him do it all. Something amazing happens when He does all the work...HE GETS ALL THE GLORY! After experiencing what He is able to do, we wouldn't have it any other way!

I love summer...

Why Ethiopia?

When Kyle and I announced our plans to adopt a child from Ethiopia, people started asking "Why Ethiopia?". The simple truth is that God Himself led us to Ethiopia. He opened our hearts by showing us a simple video and then He opened our eyes to the overwhelming needs of orphans in this African country. Here is some of what we have learned so far...

• There are 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia alone. (That's 4.6 million orphans in a country less than twice the size of Texas!)
• 44% of the population is under 15 years old.
• Half of the children in Ethiopia will never attend school. 88% will never attend secondary school.
• More than 1 in 10 children die before their 5th birthday.
• Ethiopia's doctor to child ratio is 1 to 24,000.
• Per capita, Ethiopia receives less aid than any other country in Africa.

Once Kyle and I began praying about adopting a child, we saw something about Ethiopia everywhere we turned...an article in a magazine, a friend of a friend with adopted Ethiopian children, a radio program heard in the car. It was confirmation of God's will.

Even still, we wondered...what about Russia? or China? or the U.S.A.? Each time we considered adoption from any where else, God brought us back to Ethiopia. Our hearts had been broken for the country, for its people and especially for its orphans.

So...why are we adopting a child from Ethiopia? Because God asked us to.

You, like me, may then wonder "Why does God want you to adopt an Ethiopian child?". To that question, I have no answer. But I believe with my whole heart that He knows best. I believe He has a perfect plan. I trust Him enough to follow Him without knowing all the answers.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

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Our Adoption Story...Part 2

As I watched the video of Lucy Lane coming home to her forever family, I cried. The burden that I once felt for the orphan came rushing back stronger than ever. God was calling us to this. I went to His Word for confirmation and found these verses...

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18

...for in you the fatherless find compassion. Hosea 14:3

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

Scripture clearly showed me that God loves the orphan and that we are commanded to love the orphan as well. Through scripture God also reminded me that I was once an orphan and that I have been adopted through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:5). God also showed me that I could not hide from the responsibility He had given me...

Don't try to avoid responsibility by saying you didn't know about it. For God knows all hearts, and he sees you. He keeps watch over your soul, and he knows you knew! And he will judge all people according to what they have done. Proverbs 24:12 (NLT)

So I went to Kyle. I told him about the video. I shared what I had learned from the Word. He was hesitant but listened and agreed to pray about it every day.

Each day God spoke to me through scripture, through women's Bible study, through friends and through strangers. It was amazing! I knew that this was God's will. But we struggled...we were torn between our plans and God's plan for our lives. God reassured us and comforted us (Jeremiah 29:11-12). And when I got frustrated with Kyle because he was not yet totally on board, God told me to be patient (Psalm 27:14). Soon Kyle's heart softened and we began to research adoption agencies. When we became overwhelmed at the cost of international adoption, we were reminded that God is able (Ephesians 3:20)!

Finally, we surrendered. We're moving forward and trusting God. Our prayer is that we will become family to a child with none, that others will join us in this journey, that we will be forever changed. Most of all, we pray that God will be glorified!

Our Adoption Story...Part 1

Soon after Kyle and I were married, we saw a documentary about the struggles of children in African countries. We learned how years of war, poverty, famine and disease affected the continent's youngest, most vulnerable citizens. My heart ached for those children. I remember being awake at night, unable to sleep, filled with grief. I wondered "What can I do to help them?".

Fast forward a couple of years...our first child, Joshua, was born. It was such a precious time! I was amazed at how much I loved him. My heart had never loved like this before. At bedtime each night, I rocked him and sang to him and prayed for him and kissed his little head. And at the same time, I would think about the millions of children all over the world that rocked themselves to sleep in orphanages or foster homes...with no one to sing to them, no kisses and no bedtime prayers. Once again, my heart ached.

So Kyle and I talked about adoption. We talked about it quite a bit. But after Joshua came Evan and then Olivia. Three kids in four years. We stopped talking about adoption and decided we were done...no more kids for us. We were happy with the size of our family...three children was perfect!

But then something happened this year... I got restless. Not restless for more children, but restless in my faith. I love Jesus...I love Him dearly! My faith in Him did not waiver. Rather, I felt God calling me to something more...something beyond worshipping in a beautiful church every week, beyond the comfort of my suburban American home, beyond my circle of Christian friends, something that would require real sacrifice and total dependence on Him. I had no idea what God was calling me to until I "stumbled upon" Lucy Lane's Gotcha Day video (see side bar) while reading a friend's blog. As I watched the video, I felt the Holy Spirit say to me "This is for you."