Ethiopia...Day 5

I'll post more when I get home, but I just had to share pictures from yesterday.

We set out for a day of service. But when I knelt down to wash the dirty, calloused feet of an Ethiopian woman, I realized...this is worship. Worship like nothing I have ever experienced. 

We gathered. We loved and served. We listened to the word. Prayed. And witnessed two beautiful baptisms. We broke bread. And, friend, we were blessed.

My precious friend Karen who is here with me said that Ethiopia reminds her of the Avalon song "Where Joy and Sorrow Meet". I listened to the lyrics this evening. I couldn't agree more.

There's a place of quiet stillness 'tween the light and shadows reach 

Where the hurting and the hopeless seek everlasting peace 

Words of men and songs of angels whisper comfort bittersweet
Mending grief and life eternal where joy and sorrow meet

There is a place where hope remains 

In crowns of thorns and crimson stains And tears that fall on
Jesus' feet Where joy and sorrow meet

There's a place the lost surrender and the weary will retreat 

Full of grace and mercy tender in times of unbelief 

For the wounded there is healing, strength is given to the weak 

Broken hearts find love redeeming where joy and sorrow meet

There's a place of thirst and hunger where the roots of faith grow deep 

And there is rain and rolling thunder when the road is rough and steep
There is hope in desperation there is victory in defeat 

At the cross of restoration where joy and sorrow meet

Where Joy and Sorrow Meet by Avalon

visiting orphans...

The time has come.

My bags are packed.

I've hugged my parents.

And talked to my brothers.

I smothered my little ones with hugs and kisses and tucked them into their beds. 

And I held it all together until late this evening.

As I added the last donations to my bags, I looked at the glitter stickers, nail polish, colorful hair barrettes and clips. The tears started. And just wouldn't stop.

Because all I could think of is a little girl in Ethiopia who I will someday call my daughter. Who will become a sister to Joshua, Evan and Olivia. A beloved granddaughter to our parents. A great-granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend.

All I could think of was that precious little girl. 

And I pray that someone is visiting her. 

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 1:27

With my shepherd before me...

This morning our pastor taught from Psalm 23.

During the message, he shared how a shepherd would go before his flock to prepare a pasture for his sheep to graze. And he said something like this...Whatever you have planned for today or this week, be certain that the Lord has gone before you and made a way.


I'm going to Ethiopia this week.
If you've read my posts over the past month, you'll understand how this passage from the book of Psalm and my pastor's message comforted me.

Then during the Lord's supper at the end of the service, our praise team sang this...



And I was reminded of a time...nearly a year ago...when the Lord comforted me with this song. When He promised to go before me.

Read this post from August 2010.
He goes before me...

You know that friend who promised to travel to Ethiopia with me when the time comes to bring my daughter home? Her name is Karen. And guess what?

She is going with me. This Friday. To visit, love and serve orphans.

It may not be the trip we initially discussed. But it's what God had planned all along. How do I know this? Because just as His word promises...God goes before me. He has a plan and He has prepared the way ahead with His faithful, loving hands.

{Karen with my Olivia...Christmas 2010}

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.


Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord 
forever.
Psalm 23: 5-6

Ellianna

My baby brother and his wife had a baby!

Welcome to the world, Ellianna! 

You are loved.

Congratulations, Julie and Dan! 

We're so blessed to celebrate this precious time with you.

first world problems...

The number of days before my mission trip is now in the single digits...7!

The reality of everything that must get done before I leave has finally set in. So I'm going to use this little space in blog world to confess...I'm freaking out a bit.

Here's an example:

The other day I spent what seemed like an eternity staring at bins of travel sized toiletries trying to determine how many packs of wet-wipes and bottles of hand sanitizer are appropriate for a trip such as this. I counted the number of days I'll be in Ethiopia. I counted the number of wipes in each little pack. I calculated. I contemplated. I got stressed out.

Sounds like someone was in need of a reality check A little perspective maybe?

In a matter of days I'll be visiting orphans in a third world country...some of whom live in a trash dump. Yeah...you read that right. And there I stood at Super Target fretting over hand sanitizer. Really, Carrie? Really?

Reminds me of a video Shelly at Good to Be Crazy posted recently...



It's funny and makes for a good laugh. Until you catch yourself  caught up in your first world problems. And then it's so not funny.

21 Summers...

On Sunday, Kyle and I took the kids to the lake to celebrate Independence Day with my mom and dad.

It was a wonderful day.

At the house, we played cards and watched movies. The kids climbed up and down the bunk beds no less than 100 times. Once we were on the water, we enjoyed a boat ride, tubing and a relaxing swim in a quiet cove.

And at the end of the day, so much fun had been had that we decided to stay the night and enjoy it all again the next day.

{Tubing}

{Cooling off in the cove}

{Searching for treasures on the shore}

 

While we were on the water Monday afternoon, I thought to myself...

My parents bought this boat when I was 13.

I've soaked up  21 summers of sunshine right here.
Swam in these very waters more times than I could count.

And I remembered so clearly the days that I sat in the back seats with my feet propped up on the side wondering what life held for me.
A husband? A family?

There on the water with my husband and children, all those years behind me seemed to have passed like mere moments.

Once again I was amazed at how quickly life moves from one season to the next. Gone before we know it.

What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

James 4:14

And it made me want to...
snuggle my babies
kiss my husband
thank my parents
visit my grandmother
laugh with my friends
not just read, but know my Bible
lift my hands in praise to my Heavenly Father
honor Him
bring Him glory
serve Him
go where He sends me
love His people
tell them about Him, His love, His Son
and not waste another moment of this precious life!

Only one life, 'twill soon be past.
Only what's done for Christ will last.
-C.T. Studd

When he grows up...

Joshua...Mom, are there any grades after college?

Me...Sure. Some people go to graduate school. People that want to be doctors go to medical school after college. And lawyers go to law school after they finish college.

Joshua...What if I want to be a judge?

Me...You'll need to go to law school. Judges are lawyers before they are elected or appointed. Would you like to be a lawyer or judge when you grow up?

Joshua...Naaaaa. I'll just stick with UFC.

Nice.

Because I'm afraid you'll think I let my seven year old watch UFC and therefore a terrible mother, I'm going to offer a disclaimer here...

The child has never actually seen a UFC event. He has only seen advertisements for them. And heard about it from friends at school...of course. I imagine it was the same friend that double-dog dared him to lick the cafeteria floor (gross!!) and helped him expand his vocabulary in the most unfortunate ways.

One of those days...just rambling

At a little before 8:00 last night...yeah, just about bedtime for the children...we loaded into the mini-van my swagger wagon and headed north  for one of our favorite summer treats...snow cones.

Have you seen the swagger wagon video? It is hil.ar.i.ous! And, for me, it never gets old.
I have an Odyssey, but I've got to give props to Toyota on this one. Check it.

You're laughing, aren't you? And you can relate, huh? 

I know. Me too.

Back to the snow cones...

But first a quick plug here...Firehouse Snow Cones just off the square in Celina, TX has the very best snow cones in the whole wide world. My recommendation? The Jack Jack. It's three flavors of sugary delight...cotton candy topped with wedding cake topped with strawberry.  Yumyumyumyumyum.

So we're on our way to cups full of empty calories and sugar highs when I realize that I have no cash. This is no surprise because I never ever ever have cash in my wallet. I don't even remember how I functioned before the invention of the debit card. My poor kids think anything and everything can be purchased with "that card thingy". Ugghhh...Dave Ramsey would be so disappointed in me.

Anyway...you know what else? We're always low on milk at our house...which was again the case last night. No matter how many gallons I buy...I feel like I'm always saying, "Better stop at the store. We need milk for the kids' breakfast." I'm telling you...these kids of mine go through it!

So lucky for us...CVS came to our town a couple of years ago. Which is so convenient because with the swipe of a debit card you can get grossly overpriced milk and up to thirty dollars cash back!

Which is exactly what I did.

About half an hour after we first left, we were finally on our way. At one point during the drive, I ran my  tongue over my teeth. Felt a little fuzzy. And I thought...Did I brush my teeth today? Sheesh! What had me so busy that I completely skipped basic oral hygiene? 

And for the life of me I couldn't remember.

So it was one of those days.
Not a bad one. Just the kind that leaves you with fuzzy teeth and not a single memory of what happened throughout the day.

{Evan wearing his Spiderman t-shirt while eating a Spiderman flavored snow cone. Which makes him look like he's either been punched in the mouth or a very young member of the Cullen family.}

{Olivia enjoying a Barbie flavored snow cone while perfecting her eye roll. Give me strength.}

I have no picture of Joshua eating his Sour Apple snow cone because there were older kids around and he was having one of those "I'm-too-cool-to-let-my-mom-take-a-picture-of-me" kind of days. Whatever.

{And here it is...my swagger wagon's empty seat. Every time I get in the driver's seat, I look back at it and imagine another pink car seat, an Ethiopian princess and sweet sisters giggling as we drive along.}

On film...Father's Day 2011

When it was time for Kyle to open his Father's Day gift and cards yesterday, I pulled out the Flip. So glad I did. Kyle and I watched the video late last night. We laughed.until.we.cried.

It's just a family video. But Hollywood has nothing on this group.

Kyle is the handsome leading man

...and he goes all "Jim Halpert" with his funny glances toward the camera.

Olivia plays the part of the Drama Queen...any surprise there?

Joshua plays the part of the Peacekeeper when he gives in to the drama queen.

Mommy provides the sound effects...that snorting sound is me trying to hold in laughter!

Buster plays the part of the cute but unnecessary dog.

Evan is that heart-warming character that finds the strength and determination to get through a difficult situation...in this case opening an envelope.

There's scandal and awkward humor...Mommy gave Daddy a card that says "You're pretty hot for being a dad."

Joshua provides more sound effects...screaming "Happy Father's Day!"

And since no Hollywood film seems to be complete without a little violence...Joshua and Evan provide a kick to the gut and a solid punch at the very end.

Jesus Speaks to the Rich Young Man...and me.

In four weeks, I will be on my way to Ethiopia. Just the thought of that overwhelms me. Why?

Because a couple of years ago, I sat at a kitchen table with two of my friends discussing missions and said...I'm just not called to that.

Around the same time, Kyle and I had dinner with friends. After the meal, they told us about their sister and brother-in-law who were moving their young family to Africa to serve as missionaries. I listened in disbelief and said...Wow! That is crazy! And in my heart I said...I would never do that.

In those moments, I essentially said no to God.

How could a mother leave her children to go on a mission trip?

How could a couple take their children from their life here to serve in a third world country?

I couldn't fathom it.

I love Jesus. And I loved Him back then. I just didn't understand how He wants me to love Him.

Our family went to church each Sunday...listened to beautiful praise and worship and heard powerful sermons straight from God's word. Kyle and I served in the children's ministry. I enjoyed women's Bible studies and the fellowship of my church friends.

Still...I started to feel as if something was missing. I felt restless. Blessed, but unsatisfied. I lacked... something.

Last summer, I read Radical by David Platt which led me to Matthew 19:16-22. It says...

Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"

"Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments."

"Which ones?" the man inquired.

Jesus replied, "'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'"

"All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?"

Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Now these are verses that I've read before.  But this time, I wept. This time I realized that I was the rich young man.

I was willing to follow Jesus on my terms. I was obedient, but not past the boundaries of my comfort. I would not obey Him unconditionally. My worship, my love was not sacrificial. And I was sad.

God used this passage and the book Radical to open my eyes...and my heart. He showed me that the Great Commission is not for a select few, but for every believer. He showed me that the fulfillment I so desired would only come when I was willing to let go of all the things I gripped so tightly.

It wrecked me. I prayed and I cried. I confessed and I repented. I begged God to help me live my life sold-out for Him.

And I said to Him...I am done saying no to you, Lord. Whatever you ask of me, I will do.

And what do you know?

Within weeks, He called us to adopt from Ethiopia. 

Over the next few months, He opened our eyes to orphan crisis. He broke our hearts for fatherless children in third world countries.

And in March, He called us to go. To serve. To love. To be His hands and His feet. 

I could no longer say...I'm just not called to that.
So I just said yes.

And as much as I want to obey Him. To live according to His plan and His purpose. It still isn't easy.

I don't want to leave my husband and my kids for 11 days.
I get anxious just thinking about 13 hours in a plane...flying across the ocean!
I'm afraid that my heart can't handle what my eyes will soon see.
And I'm flat out scared of what God may call us to next.

But more than any of that, I don't want to be the rich young man. He loved his riches and could not let go of them to follow Jesus. If I can't let go of the things I hold dear...time with my family or my comfort or my plans...I am no different.

So I will tearfully kiss my family goodbye. I will read and sleep and do whatever it takes to get through that flight. I will see orphans and poverty and my heart will be broken. And I will pray that He prepares me for whatever He has planned for our family next. Why?

Because I love Him.

And because I'd rather be
uncomfortable and obedient
than
comfortable and disobedient.


If you love me, you will obey what I command
John 14:15