Jesus Speaks to the Rich Young Man...and me.

In four weeks, I will be on my way to Ethiopia. Just the thought of that overwhelms me. Why?

Because a couple of years ago, I sat at a kitchen table with two of my friends discussing missions and said...I'm just not called to that.

Around the same time, Kyle and I had dinner with friends. After the meal, they told us about their sister and brother-in-law who were moving their young family to Africa to serve as missionaries. I listened in disbelief and said...Wow! That is crazy! And in my heart I said...I would never do that.

In those moments, I essentially said no to God.

How could a mother leave her children to go on a mission trip?

How could a couple take their children from their life here to serve in a third world country?

I couldn't fathom it.

I love Jesus. And I loved Him back then. I just didn't understand how He wants me to love Him.

Our family went to church each Sunday...listened to beautiful praise and worship and heard powerful sermons straight from God's word. Kyle and I served in the children's ministry. I enjoyed women's Bible studies and the fellowship of my church friends.

Still...I started to feel as if something was missing. I felt restless. Blessed, but unsatisfied. I lacked... something.

Last summer, I read Radical by David Platt which led me to Matthew 19:16-22. It says...

Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"

"Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments."

"Which ones?" the man inquired.

Jesus replied, "'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'"

"All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?"

Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Now these are verses that I've read before.  But this time, I wept. This time I realized that I was the rich young man.

I was willing to follow Jesus on my terms. I was obedient, but not past the boundaries of my comfort. I would not obey Him unconditionally. My worship, my love was not sacrificial. And I was sad.

God used this passage and the book Radical to open my eyes...and my heart. He showed me that the Great Commission is not for a select few, but for every believer. He showed me that the fulfillment I so desired would only come when I was willing to let go of all the things I gripped so tightly.

It wrecked me. I prayed and I cried. I confessed and I repented. I begged God to help me live my life sold-out for Him.

And I said to Him...I am done saying no to you, Lord. Whatever you ask of me, I will do.

And what do you know?

Within weeks, He called us to adopt from Ethiopia. 

Over the next few months, He opened our eyes to orphan crisis. He broke our hearts for fatherless children in third world countries.

And in March, He called us to go. To serve. To love. To be His hands and His feet. 

I could no longer say...I'm just not called to that.
So I just said yes.

And as much as I want to obey Him. To live according to His plan and His purpose. It still isn't easy.

I don't want to leave my husband and my kids for 11 days.
I get anxious just thinking about 13 hours in a plane...flying across the ocean!
I'm afraid that my heart can't handle what my eyes will soon see.
And I'm flat out scared of what God may call us to next.

But more than any of that, I don't want to be the rich young man. He loved his riches and could not let go of them to follow Jesus. If I can't let go of the things I hold dear...time with my family or my comfort or my plans...I am no different.

So I will tearfully kiss my family goodbye. I will read and sleep and do whatever it takes to get through that flight. I will see orphans and poverty and my heart will be broken. And I will pray that He prepares me for whatever He has planned for our family next. Why?

Because I love Him.

And because I'd rather be
uncomfortable and obedient
than
comfortable and disobedient.


If you love me, you will obey what I command
John 14:15