American Idol finale: a thirty-something mama's thoughts

{source}

Lauren or Scotty? Who is the next Teen American Idol?

I couldn't wait to find out. Here is a random sample of thoughts that ran through my mind as I watched the show...

I don't know half of the songs these girls are singing. I'm so old.

But I think Jack Black is hys-ter-i-cal! Does that make me young and hip?

Uggghhhh...ENOUGH, Casey! No more growling!

Whatever, Beyonce! You're not the only one that can wiggle and jiggle like that. I can do it, too! Wait a minute...does involuntary jiggling count?

I bet half the audience is too young to even know who Tony Bennett is. They're probably thinking...Oooohhh! How sweet! Her dad got to play guitar with her a couple weeks ago and now her grandpa is getting to sing with her. 

Tom Jones...is that you?

Not Lady Ga Ga. The kids are in the room. Must keep finger on fast forward button.

For the love of the land, Ga Ga! Keep your foot off the stinkin' piano keys!! 

Uh oh...I may be a bit of hypocrite.

(When Joshua commented that Lady Ga Ga was "weird", I emphatically agreed. But when he said that Steven Tyler "dressed funny" and "looked like a girl", my first instinct was to yell...BITE YOUR TONGUE, JUNIOR!!!)

Oh, Scotty...you are precious! Such a good boy. No piercings. No guy-liner. Giving God the glory. Your mama must be so very proud!

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Stop trying to catch the confetti with your tongue. It's paper!

It was a good season, but still...I miss that snarky brit Simon Cowell.