Baby Bump

See that image over on the right? That's my fourth baby bump! Oh, I know...it just looks like a hot pink filing system sitting on my dining room table. Don't let your eyes deceive you...it's a baby bump!

This pink, twenty-six pocket filing system will hold everything needed to grow our family of five into a family of six. Right now it contains copies of adoption agency agreements, lists of adoption expenses and fundraising ideas, a certificate of completion for an online training course and requests for birth certificates, marriage certificates and passports. Over the next several months, our family will watch with excitement as the contents grow and change. This phase of adoption is called the "paper pregnancy", so naturally this is my baby bump.

In many ways, this baby bump is quite different from my first three. First and most obvious, it's not physically a part of me. It will never expand my waist. I'll never stand in front of the mirror, fascinated by it and inspecting it for changes. I will never rest my hand on it to feel the child inside kick.

Another difference...this baby bump started with different motivation on our part. My first baby bump came about because we were ready to start a family...I wanted a baby. The second because we wanted to grow our family and it was time for Joshua to have a brother or sister. The third because two kiddos just didn't seem like enough...we wanted one more. But this one, the fourth one, wasn't initially about a baby at all. It started with our hearts broken and longing to be used by God.

I guess I could go on and on about the differences. But I won't. I want to tell you one thing that is just the same...

I love the child that this baby bump represents as much as I loved my first three children while they were growing inside my womb. When I think about her and pray for her, I am filled with joy, excitement and nervous anticipation just like I was with Joshua, Evan and Olivia. I loved them with every ounce of my being long before I ever saw, touched or held them. The same is true for this precious child.

So if you feel God calling you to adopt, but you wonder...Could I truly love an adopted child as much as I love my biological children? Stop, my friend. Because that orphan tugging at your heart is not just a child without a home. It is your child...one that God has chosen for you...waiting to be brought home, waiting to be loved.